the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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