I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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