you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
