My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
