Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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