awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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