the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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