So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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