Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
