My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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