How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
