all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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