Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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