He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
