I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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