96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
