if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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