Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
