Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
