so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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