Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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