Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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