Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
