If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
