i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
