The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
