just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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