"it" just moved
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
