Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
