YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
