I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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