who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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