i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
