One girl and one boy is just not enough.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
