very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
