stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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