you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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