and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
When are your genitals available?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
