hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
