I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize