i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
