things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
