"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
