I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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