my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
