Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
