It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
