went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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