Are we in a gay sports bar?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
