i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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