I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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