sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize